Breaking The Silence

Breaking The Silence

Abuse is a nasty word.

Bullying is a form of abuse, so is sexual assault.

Suck It Up Fitness supports  Anti-Bullying Campaigns.  Statistics show that bullying is on the rise.  School bullying, workplace bullying,  cyber bullying and adult bullying.  In the coming months SIUF will create an Anti-Bullying Empowerment Clothing line with proceeds going to local and national anti-bullying charities.  It is time we stand up against bullying and be the voice for those that can’t find their voice yet.

“Stop trying so hard to fit in, you are PERFECT the way you are.  Nothing is better than being yourself.  I stand up against BULLYING”

“I am done being bullied.  I am done being called hurtful and mean things.  I am beautiful, strong and worth respect.  I stand up against BULLYING”

For more information on bullying please visit the following sites

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/

http://www.stompoutbullying.org/

 

SIUF also is proud to support the acknowledgement of sexual abuse.  The owner, Jenn DeBeers, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.  As a child, I was sexually abused by my father and one of my brothers.  My brother was convicted and sent to prison, unfortunately my father denied all the charges and was found not guilty at the trial, I was only 9 years old when I took the stand to testify against my father.  My life was forever changed by these events.  My life and family were ripped apart.  Before the trial, my father published an article in the local paper stating my mother and the “minor child” (me) had wrongfully accused him of sexually abusing me.  We lived in a very small town, and word got around.  I was made fun of, harassed, called nasty names and bullied by my peers to the point where I had to leave school and my mother thought it best to send me to another school.  I was an angry child and teenager, and young adult.  I had a horrible self-image of myself, hated God and everyone around me.  What had I done so bad to have this horrible thing happen to me?  If God really did exist why did he let this happen to me, a child?  Wasn’t God supposed to protect the innocent?  Where was the mercy and justice, my father was found not guilty for a crime he committed?  How could I trust any man, when the one man in my life who was supposed to love and protect me abused me?  I was on a downward, self-hating spiral.  On the outside I was successful, I had good grades, made good money as a bartender, had a nice car and was well on my way to getting my degree in college.  But on the inside I was miserable, I felt defiled, unwanted, ugly, unworthy and lost.  I was in and out of therapy from the time I was 9 to 20, but I always felt like my therapists didn’t know what I as going through.  They could sympathize with me, but unless they had been through what I had been through there was no way they knew what I felt and was going through.  My 23rd birthday was my turning point, or as I call it my aha moment.  I was out partying with my bar regulars, who just happened to be suspected drug dealers.  I never did drugs, but I was a bartender at a strip club so my regulars were in that line of work.  They took me out in a hummer limo and we hit the local bars and strip clubs.  When I woke up the next morning my friend told me that there was a very large drug exchange that happened while we were all in the limo and I was so drunk that I didn’t even remember it.  Nothing happened, but what if something had?  These guys would not have gone to bat for me saying that I had nothing to do with it, I would have gone to jail for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  That was the first time I prayed, I got down on my knees and said, “God, if you exist, please change something in my life, because I am miserable and hate myself.”  I went and bought a Bible, and that week a friend of mine told me about a mentoring program that changed my life.  I went to a local church, and began the healing process.  It is a long process, and I say “IS” because there is no end to the process, it is a daily, weekly and yearly process.  I am no longer a victim, I am survivor.  I welcomed Christ into my life shortly after my 23rd birthday.  I have read several books about sexual abuse, and can recommend any to anyone who asks.  Why is it that the victim is the one who is looked at badly and not the abuser?  We need to break the silence, and empower each other and stand up against these bullies.  One in three girls is sexually abused before her 18th birthday, that is ONE too many.

Sexual abuse facts:

9 out of 10 children do not report sexual abuse, please visit the warning signs for sexual abuse

1 out 4 women will be sexually abused before her 18th birthday

If you are being sexually abused there are several hotlines and anonymous chatlines you can contact

National Sexual Assault  hotline: 800-656-HOPE

In 2014 SIUF will launch an empowerment clothing line with proceeds going to local and national charities and ministries associated with sexual abuse.

 

For more information on sexual abuse please visit the follow sites:

http://www.mercyministries.org/

http://www.stopcsa.org/

http://www.rainn.org/

 

I have decided to break my silence for two main reasons.  One, and the most important reason, is to shed light on sexual abuse and to let victims know that they are not alone.  You have a voice, and whether you are ready to use it or not, someone has to take the first step.  Most abusers are bullies, they use intimidation, threats and all out fear to keep their victims silenced.  9 out of 10 children never report sexual abuse and when that 1 child who does speak up most of the time it falls on deaf ears and charges are never brought into existence.  My abuser has now decided some 20 plus years after everything wants to keep me fearing him.  He has decided to write a memoir of his life including extensive details about what he calls the “incident” that happened between 1993-1994.  He has always proclaimed his innocence and told everyone I made everything up and that my mother planted ideas in my head.  I cannot completely prevent him from publishing his life story, but I can stand up and voice what happened to me, the TRUTH. This is my second reason for breaking my silence.  He will not have any power over me, I will not live in fear of him and I will not let him try to manipulate me.  Abusers thrive on power and intimidation, if you take away their power they have nothing.

 

If you are being bullied and or abused please tell someone.  You can even tell me, I was so grateful that I had someone to tell.  I am not going to lie to you and say that it will be easy, but it is the only way for the healing to begin.  We all deserve healing and peace.  Tell a close friend, a parent, a hotline or even a stranger.  I know you are scared, I was terrified, but I promise that you will not be judged, or looked down on.  The more I have shared my story/testimony, the more people have come up to me thanking me for sharing and then in turn share that they have been abused or bullied themselves.  You are not alone!

For more info please email: suckitupfitness@gmail.com

By Jenn DeBeers, Jen DeBeers and Suck It Up Fitness